Intermission: Visiting the Present
It’s been quite a while since I have added anything to Inside Out. I do plan to get back at it soon, but my son was born on January 17th, and since then the past has mattered less than it ever has in my life. I haven’t had the time or energy to visit back there.
Oh I still hear the whispers and have the dreams regularly. It is all still there, trying to taunt me. But it has lost much of its power, much of its affect.
I can’t explain the way I feel and I have tried to find words that come close – but I failed.
There is a new calmness that is nice and yet unnerving. I have very little experience with calm. I know I cannot be who I was even a month ago. I must be better, calmer, more focused, more here, so that I can do my best for this little guy. He is awesome and deserves an awesome life. That is up to me to create, and believe me, I am starting the race from a long way back. So I need the calmness, I need focus, and more than anything I need to be HERE for my boy.
So, I am sure you can understand why I have had to be in today and leave the past, the story, behind for a little while. The story will not rest until I tell it, that I do know, but I do believe that I will be able to write with a new perspective now. It won’t burn as bad when I touch it, so I should be able to see it more clearly, more… calmly.
You see, I now have a future – something I never really had for a long, long time. My future’s name is Axl Draven Veinotte.
So for now, I thank all of those who have supported me in this quest / project / whatever it has become. Thank you for the messages and emails and for sharing the site, bringing more readers. So far this has been an unreal experience for me – it is strange having people lift me and help me towards the goal line when in the beginning, I had no idea if I even wanted to be in the game. Now I am certain that it will become a book once I find the ending. I am certain I will be here to write the ending.
I will be back with more stories and memories very soon. Until then, keep sharing the site. There would not be much sense in all of this without someone reading it.
All the best,
Barry
Barry
PS: Axl is one awesome little guy :-)
Trip to the Cabin <– Previous | Next –> Drink Into Madness
Inside Out Index
Babies smell like love.
~ Barry Veinotte
Index
- The Beginning (Kinda)
- Problem Child
- Runaway
- Weed and Paranoia
- Dangerous Memories
- Drug of Choice: Alcohol
- Theft, Mushrooms and More Trouble
- Into the System
- The Group Home and Roy
- Lockup and Blanket Ropes
- Detention Center
- Escapes and Growing Rage
- Riot in Detention
- Her Majesty's Penitentiary
- Drugs, Blood and Cell Time
- Unit 2
- Pills, Pills and Attitude
- He's Okay, Just a Little Nuts
- Drug Reaction – Pretzilitice
- Broken
- Earning a Nickname: Slash
- Parole Denied
- East Wing Bottom
- Freedom: Into the Real World
- Trip to the Cabin
- Intermission: Visiting the Present
- Drink Into Madness
- Bad Trip
- Welcome to the Mental
- Easy Time in the Mental
- Kicked Out! (of the mental)
- Elephants, Butterflies and Defibrillators
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Barry, after reading this … story is too mild a word for what you have lived through, mostly I feel elated that you survived to put it in words. This needs to be published and I truly hope you succeed in doing that. You survived! And now you are a dad. How wonderful. I hope you can put the past behind you and live a long and peaceful life, which you deserve.
I lived in Wabush from 1965-78 and was part of the gang of Perrys, Veinottes, Olmstead/Cole, and Wiles, knew you and your sister and cousin as children. My only contacts now are Mike and Jane Perry. Take care of yourself and that beautiful baby.