"I am getting way too comfortable in here man. It's time to either stay in or stay out. One or the other." I was talking to my buddy Greg. We were sitting in his cell - he had a single while I was still double bunked with a big ugly dude who claimed he was a member of...

Getting into trouble started with small things - getting caught smoking cigarettes, stealing cigarettes from my parents. Soon stealing became a recreational activity: A group of friends and I would have competitions to see who could steal the most chocolate bars from...

I  lay in my lean-to and listened to the noises in the woods, convinced there were wolves circling my camp site. The fire was too far away to provide much heat, so I moved out of my little shelter and laid closer to it, thinking the flames would help keep away...

I  looked down from the top of the ferris wheel and my father was looking up at me. I was sure he could tell. Even from that distance I was sure. I did not want the ride to end. He knew I was wasted - he knew! We were on vacation in Nova Scotia, and at the Field Day...

The glider of the rocking chair punctured the ceiling as I raised it over my head, then brought it smashing down onto the floor. I kicked the coffee table across the room, faintly  aware of the pain in my leg as it connected. I was screaming. I could not stop...

Eleven and smoking drugs seems unreal to me now being 45 years old. Seems like something from a movie, not something that happens in real life with real kids. But that was me. The same summer I started smoking dope, I started drinking. Again, hanging out with older...

"Well I guess you have made your choice," my father said, making me want to crawl into a hole somewhere. My parents were separating, and he actually managed to make me feel guilty about not choosing who I wanted to live with. My continued silence on the matter was...

So I was expelled from school. More than that - I was not allowed to attend any school in Labrador West. Understandable. I ended up in court, listening as the social worker told the judge that I was beyond parental control and that the department of social services...

  I ran away from the home several times, having nowhere to go and never getting very far, but I ran anyway. I thought that perhaps there was a chance that they would take me out of there if I kept running. They would have to lock me up or something - send me...

"Don't even think about getting out of here. This is maximum security for juveniles," one of the staff members told me just after I arrived at the detention center. The building was across the parking lot from the Pleasantville Training School in the area called White...

Our first escape from detention didn't work out very well. We'd had big dreams of doing B & E's, getting all kinds of cash and making our way out of Newfoundland. Things just didn't go as planned. Our first issue was finding footwear, but that proved to be fairly...

During our escapes we never made it very far or for very long. A couple of times we managed a few days, surviving by stealing and sometimes coming close to hypothermia from being under dressed for the weather. Once we slept in a public washroom in Bowering Park,...

  I felt like I was walking into another world as they brought us into the cells of St. John's Lockup. It was a dark and dirty looking place, with a long concrete hallway, the cells lining one side. I was scared to death and was suddenly filled with regret. I...

My ability to get high grew over time. I had maxed out my prescriptions with the doctor: he would not give me anything stronger than what I was getting. So I saved up until I had enough to get high, mixing sleeping pills with my daytime "relaxers" and the buzz often...

I am not sure how long I was in the hole, I think around a week, but I do know that there was some discussion while I was there about whether or not I would be changed in outside court for attempted escape. I still had court dates ahead of me and so still did not know...

Somehow I ended up with a job in the doctor's office. You did not get paid for working, but it got me off of the unit twice a day, and the guard who ran things there was pretty laid back. We got along well and he kept talking about how I was far too young to be in the...

“One last time Veinotte. Where is the blood coming from?” the guard said, standing with a cardboard cross in his hand. I didn’t answer - I just stood there grinning, but I figured I knew what was going to happen next. The cross was white cardboard painted an ugly...

A lot of inmates didn’t get much mail. Those who did usually got less and less as time went on. Writing letters became difficult after a while. There was really nothing to talk about from our side. How many times can you write how you plan to stay out this time, that...

I don’t remember what my official sentence was for my incident with Mr. Jones. I know the first time I appeared before Mr. Saunders in Disciplinary Court he read my changes out to me, which included “Attempting to assault warder X.X. Jones.” ‘Attempted assault?’ I...

When you are sentenced to provincial jail time, you automatically get one third of your sentence knocked off. You serve two thirds of your actual total sentence. The only way that changes is if you get into trouble, and even then, you only usually lose a few days of...

  I had left home in March of 1984. I turned fifteen in Pleasantville Detention Center. I turned sixteen in Her Majesty’s Penitentiary. I was determined to spend my seventeenth birthday on the street. I spent the last few weeks of my sentence on East Wing Bottom,...

  I left Her Majesty’s Penitentiary in a haze. I made sure as the van pulled away that I didn’t look back at the jail. I wanted to – and was surprised at how hard it was not to turn around. But I didn’t. I was not superstitious, but might was well play it safe...

I intended to stay out of trouble. I also intended to drink. For me the two were incompatible, but despite the evidence I refused to believe this. I was sure I could handle the booze, sure I could stay out of trouble. The wall of denial was already high. My buddy...

It’s been quite a while since I have added anything to Inside Out. I do plan to get back at it soon, but my son was born on January 17th, and since then the past has mattered less than it ever has in my life. I haven’t had the time or energy to visit back there. Oh I...

There were four of us who had been drinking together, though it was obvious who had drunk the most, as was usual when I was hanging out with friends, trying to be a hot shot, slamming drinks into me much too closely together. I skipped along on my crutches, using my...

I went a few days without drinking after the rec center incident. Only a few: Less than two weeks later I was again drunk, wandering around the rec center, totally out of my mind and out of control, carrying a baseball bat. The bat was hidden up the sleeve of my coat,...

I only had two months left on my sentence – I was a ‘Short Timer’. Time was dragging on at a snail’s pace though, and two months felt like a very long time to me. I was in what we referred to as the “New Hole”. It was segregation, but a step up from what I was used...

Once I was through the inner door and inside what would be my new home, I tried to put on my tough guy persona. It didn’t seem to want to fit. I was shaking too badly to look tough. I was given a tour of the area – TV Room, Card Room, Cafeteria – and as I walked...